There are people who are dating married and happy. They are not dating their spouses of course. We have a perfect study about people who get divorced and those who stay married. For this study, Texas University took 168 “just married” couples and observed them for 15 years. After all these years only 68 of the couples were still happily married, 38 couples were still together but unhappy. The rest, 62 marriages were water under the bridge.
After 15 years of observation, the scientists made a rough division between the couples. First group was named the drama club. They were the most quarreling couples before getting married. They loved each other with passion but still they were fighting all the time. These fights continued after they got married. Most of these couples got divorces in 2 years. Longest lasting drama club marriage was only 5 years. The members of the second group were crazily in love with each other. These are the couples telling stories like Hollywood movies about how they met, hoe they fell in love and how they decided to get married. Fairytales don’t have a tendency to last long. After 6 to 7 years their passions were faded away and they also got divorced. Only the third group, the couples who started out slowly and became friends and lovers at the same time lasted 15 years.
They say that according to statistics 1 in every 2 marriages end with divorce. Now no one knows the source of this statistics. I believe it is an estimate number depending on real numbers. What are the real numbers? We know how many people get divorced every year and we also know the total population. If we use these numbers, 1 person in every 200 gets divorced in one year. This is not the percentage of married and divorced people. Even newborn babies and old widows are included in this number. In the US, the National Center for Health Statistics published a statistics. According to their numbers, in 15 years, 43 of all marriages end. This is not a very optimistic number is it? Is just one year of love better than a life time alone like the Queen’s song? Or are we choosing 15 years of hell instead of spending that time having fun with our friends and lovers?
There is one more statistics about the subject. After two year, when passion fades away, if one or both of the spouses have an extramarital affair, happiness in the house increases with that of the unfaithful spouse. What is essential here is not to get caught and not to fall in love with the “other person.” To keep an affair like this from the other spouse, one must choose wisely. Balance is everything. To obtain and keep this balance, both members of the affair must have same things to lose. Dating married can end a marriage but it can also prolong the happiness of in a marriage. When your reasons are right the ending may turn out to be a very happy one.
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