When couples come up with their particular marital problems, there are some issues that are common to all of them. Apart from the usual reduction in sexual intimacy, when you ask couples how long it has been since they went on a date or went away for the weekend, you will find them look back at you with some discomfort.
For many couples, it could be a long time since they last had a break or quality time together. Family dinners or nights out with friends or office parties is routine stuff and doesn t count; and actually sitting down and calculating how long it has been since the last date or break away, as a couple can be a very sobering thought.
It may never be intentional but often weeks can turn into months, and as months roll by, you never escape the trap of spending so much of your time doing the day to day things in your marriage; you are likely to lose perspective of what is really important.
Did you think in those hectic days of courtship, and when you married that life would turn out to be like this. Or like most of us, did you not envision weekends away together, long drives in the countryside, attending parties and functions together, and growing old together doing the things you both love?
Work, demands on your time, children, family commitments, financial constraints and the daily stresses of life soon got in the way of what you imagined would be a perfect relationship, and you resigned yourselves to the fact that it was simply a dream too far to chase. Sometimes we also get so wrapped up in your own emotions that we forget to think of the other person in our marriage.
If you are making the effort to be together alone, just slip away for a weekend. It doesn t have to cost a lot of money, nor involve huge amounts of time. If you put as much effort into your relationship as you do into your friends, children, pets, or sporting commitments, the time to do these things should simply be there.
If you really want a night out or a weekend badly enough, there are most often very simple ways to make it happen. Let your children visit their grandparents for the night or a weekend or let them stay with friends.
Hire a house for a couple of nights up in the mountains and spent a weekend either sleeping, watching movies, or walking together and eating special food. You will be surprised how cheap it turns out to be and how little effort is involved in putting it all together.
A date could even be something as simple as a pizza in a park or a walk on the beach. A weekend away could be as simple as locking the doors, watching movies, and pampering each other with intimate offerings. Spouses must voice their opinions listening is part of your commitment to your partner. Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin. The person you used to love communicating with and telling your secrets, desires, and fears to, is always there some people actually do change but not necessarily for the reasons you fear. And what is important is that the sense of emotional connection can somehow be restored.
Its those special memories and great moments that make a good life and a great marriage. If it has been too long since you added to that list of special memories; do it now.
One small effort can make all the difference and the solutions to your problems may not be so far behind.