Facing the end of a marriage is an emotional experience. In addition to all of the things you need to worry about in regard to the relationship ending and the future of your family, you also have to deal with the cost of the process. Ending a marriage can cost a lot of money and depending on your situation, it might be money you do not have. A divorce attorney or divorce lawyer can help you with the process, but no matter how hard they work, their services might just cost more than you and your soon to be ex spouse have to give. Mediation is an option. You will still need legal representation of some sort, but the process will be cheaper and it might even be less emotionally trying for the both you.
Mediation requires that both spouses put some of their emotions aside. Unfortunately, many marriages are ended in a feeling of destruction, anger and resentment. People are damaged and their feelings have been injured. They want to “take them for all they have” or “clean them out.” They are out for blood and unwilling to compromise, mainly because they want to inflict pain on their former spouse. What this leads to is larger legal bills for both parties. You might have been wronged and you might want to walk away having destroyed your spouse, but doing this will cost you more in the long run.
Mediation can avoid a lot of time and money spent focusing on ending things. A single mediator meets with both spouses. There is no individual representation, but there is an objective third party looking at all aspects of the end of the marriage. They help create custody agreements, divide property and determine what needs to be done in regard to support. It might seem as if everyone is working toward a single goal.
This works best if both parties are ready to end the marriage. It also works if both parties are willing to put aside their resentful feelings and focus on creating a fair end to the marriage. If you feel that you have been wronged and you want revenge, mediation probably is not the answer. There are people, though, that even if wronged, they are still willing to move on and treat their spouse justly.
Mediation requires a great deal of maturity on the part of both spouses. Unfortunately, maturity is sometimes in short supply when it comes ending a marriage. Even if one party is willing to choose mediation over a typical separation, if there is only one person on board, it is unlikely to work. It is important to understand, though, that mediation is healthier for children and family. Even if you are hoping your former spouse goes on to lead a less than happy life, you can move through the end of your marriage by putting those feelings aside and working on creating a scenario that is best for your entire family. In addition to being more civil, it also saves money.