The number one obstacle I see for both men and women when it comes to hooking up is plain old insecurity.
Both men and women let insecurity stand in the way of finding the right person to date.
Men ask a girl out and then question every little thing they say and do around that girl, placing her high on a pedestal and walking around fearful of her judgment.
Well, guess what?
Girls get asked out by men and then question every little thing they say and do around that man, placing him on a pedestal and walking around fearful of his judgment.
Itís the same ball of wax.
We are all so afraid of doing something wrong or taking a misstep that we become insecure, wimpy, needy and clingy. And guess what, itís that behavior, more than anything else that is a turn off.
If both men and women would just own their behavior, even if it isnít perfect, they would find more success in the dating arena.
Now, Iím not talking about owning jerk or witch behavior where you completely disregard someone elseís feelings. Iím talking about owning your behavior in the sense that you really, truly and deep down inside like yourself.
Thatís why on some levels I think the very first thing you should do if you want to learn about picking up women is to take some time to go deep within yourself.
Take some time and effort to improve yourself and be the best man or woman you can be. Be introspective and figure out what your insecurities are (we all have them) and how you can overcome them, at least a little.
Do whatever it takes to build your self confidence level. If that means starting a work out program or taking a class at a community college or even buying a new wardrobe, then do it. Take some time and effort for yourself. Once you feel good about yourself, you are ready to enter the dating world.
That way you can hold your head high and know that you have a lot to offer anyone who spends time with you. You donít have to be apologetic that you have standards about how people should treat you. You deserve to only date someone who is reliable enough to be where they say they are going to be at the time they have agreed on.
When you have confidence and love of yourself like this, then you set the bar high and do not waste your time on someone who cannot meet your reasonable expectations.
And as you go through this dating world, you will always remember that you worked hard to gain your self confidence. Because of this, you will not let anyone jeopardize that. And that means not spending time with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself or who is disrespectful. You know how important it is to guard your self esteem and confidence no matter what. If you remember this, you will be happier and have a more satisfying, fulfilling life.
Bill Preston has been studying personal development and dating advice for the past 5 years and is a guest instructor at the top Pick Up Artist Boot camp in NYC. He loves sharing his experience and expertise with other men looking to improve their lives. Find out more at http://www.puaforums.com